给朋友的一封信

I don’t like argument and am never good at it. What is the point in arguing? Winning an argument doesn’t really make you a stronger person. In real after winning an argument will it helps to accomplish things? You might win an argument, still nothing can be done, and a fact is still a fact. Real friend wouldn’t want to argue with friends, argument most probably will cause unhappiness, and a true friend wouldn’t want that to happen their friends. A true friend will treasure friendship and wouldn’t want to spoil or cause damage to friendship. They preserve and improve friendship. Yes it is true that only true friend will accept us as a whole, the good and the bad of who we are but it doesn’t mean that we should keep on expressing all our negativity to the people surrounding especially those close friend that really care for us by continuingly hurting and hurting them non-stop and throwing tantrum on them? No one was born to owe anyone anything. Shouldn’t we too need to take care of the feeling of the friend around us? It is really irresponsible if to label a person as not a true friend if they cannot withstand your bad while when you keep hurting and hurting them repeatedly without trying any effort at all at least to preserve the friendship. True friend might point out your shortage and negativity when they see one but will never argue with you or force you to accept their idea. Everyone has their own free will.

I treasure people surrounding me, yes I might ignore many things at the same time particularly emotional fluctuation from others as I will be too sensitive and susceptible to that, I need to protect myself in order to stay happy before I can bring happiness to the people surrounding me

Isolation

I think I am the one person that better of to be left alone. Always doing the wrong things, thinking the wrong thoughts, saying the wrong words and always annoy others........there is nothing been right all the time, always wrong wrong wrong. I am really better of to be left alone, isolate from others to avoid me from further hurting and annoying people........there is never a thing that i had ever done correctly or right.... stay away from me and i shall keep myself away from all to prevent further mischief from me

忧....气...

不是很开心的一天. 发现自己真的很擅长把美好的气氛破坏掉, 很气我自己....又在伤害到别人...............

Am I such an annoying person???? Probably.......

It is so obvious that the inpatient within a certain friend of mine towards me when talking or even when messaging me. Realizing of such inpatient within the friend, i really think that i shall restrain myself from talking or messaging to that friend. I wouldn't be knowing the real reason or the cause of such inpatient as for sure i wouldn't be asking, this will cause more inpatient or unhappiness towards the friend, probably annoyed. However my self conscious is not insensitive as such. Somehow probably my own attitude and personality causes that, hence i wouldn't be blaming anyone or the friend for such, I only have myself to blame, thus i shall restrain from talking and messaging in order to prevent me from annoying anyone further from today onward especially the certain friend. I'm really not good in human to human whatever kind of relationship, hence please don't compare me to others (your friends, previous partner etc........), i'm just me. Good or worse there is only one of the kind of me. So sorry if i really annoyed you....... :(

Friday the 13th................terribly sad

I'm quite a superstitious person basically. I usually don't like no. 13 and especially when the day 13 falls on Friday. Today is the day...basically everything went wrong and terribly wrong..........yes you might say that it is an excuse to blame it to the no. but it really went wrong for almost everything. It is indeed a very sad day to me as i might have hurt someone badly unintentionally with my bad temper which the guilt is eating my up deeply from within at this moment while i'm writing this. It was long since i release tantrum to people out of the family member so badly and the moment i did it immediately i realize it is terribly wrong. I always tend to mess up relationship and hurt people surrounding me especially those close to me..... maybe subconsciously i tend to push people away without realizing it. I really feel that by apologizing and saying sorry is not not enough for the hurt that i had caused.................SORRY!!!!! :'(
很想哭但是怎么都哭不出来................................很多东西都写不出来... 是, 当我发脾气时我真的很气, 气的不是什么, 只是你那很不耐烦的说话态度让我觉得很无辜,很无奈....我气喘喘的东忙西跑受了气, 累了得到的却是那种不耐烦的对待....很伤心......但现在更伤心的却是伤害了一个好朋友....很难受....真的很难受.........

又是雨天.........sigh

发现自己原来是逃避高手. 越来越看清楚自己到底是一个怎么样的人, 不知应该高兴呢? 还是悲哀.......看清自己是好事, 但如何去面对确实是个大难题! 曾经被老公投诉过, 视乎很喜欢把自己的内心藏起来, 重来都不去与人交流, 总是对人有所保留甚至是对他 是的 我的确是这样, 当发现有人或事物在精神上对我有所期待或依赖时, 很自然的我就会一把的把他推开或自己逃避....对人我会不自不觉的把关系搞得恶劣然后走开; 对事也就抛在一边直置不理, 不想面对....所以都没有什么深交可谈心的朋友咯........ 原来我一路来都很怕"责任"这两个字, 人与人相处的确需要的责任和付出我都做不到......... T_T
对人对事, 今天突然很惊醒的发现. 但发现了又如何? 没有解决方法... 还不是回到原点吗? 难受的感觉一路都有.... 当简单的事都会被自己复杂化又没有勇气去承担后果时, 真的都不能不佩服自己做人的失败.............

人与人之间

人与人之间的复杂交流实在是为难我这简单而不发达的头脑. 所以当事情变得复杂化时, 通常我都会选择抽离或保持距离来保护自己免得受到伤害. 记得有个朋友对我说我实在不应该这样， 应该接受朋友的全部好和坏, 这样做怎么会认识到朋友的全部呢？ 我赞同他的说法但我更看中我个人的感受, 我需要保护好我个人的感受.....说我自私， 可能吧.....

下雨的星期六

人, 永远都是最难理解的生物. 复杂的的思维和各种不同的人格, 促使人这种生物变得越是复杂. 很多时候自己都理解不了自己真正想要的是什么......... 下雨的夜晚有点感性, 因狮子座的我不喜欢潮湿的气候.........还是不要想太多继续看戏吧! :P

晴

久违了!!!好久都没有把心情留下, 今天和一位朋友突然说起部落格, 就试试进来看一看, 再不久可能就要开始学写日语的了......  最近心情都极好, 认识了一班蛮投缘和谈得来的新朋友,  每天生活都蛮充实的,  现在还真的蛮期待明年的到来......期待开始新的生活, 新的环境..... 就快可以梦想成真了..... 开心的同时却怀有一股忧郁............

无奈

今天其实过了一个很充实也很奢侈的上午. 心情本来还蛮开心的又尝试了一件重来都没试过的事..spa。 但，回到家后， 好心情很快的又被破坏了。。。。。。很无奈， 并没有感到伤心， 已经没什么感觉了。。。只是很无奈， 很累。。。感觉很懒，不想心情和情绪有波动， 但真的很无奈............

思考.........

Disney's happily ever after 是从小看到大的经典，但现实生活的丰富经验却一点都与之占不上边。 很清楚自己要的是什么， 也很清楚知道不要的是什么， 但有没有勇气去选择自己要的却又是另一回事。就算有勇气选择， 也得有勇气去承担一切过后所要面对的后果， 将需付出的精力是无可言喻的大..........每天都在问自己， 有必要继续这样吗？ 很多时候都还蛮佩服自己的耐力。 真的很累了......呵，宁缺勿滥， 我还蛮佩服那些做得到的人..................我真的真的很累了.................

Finally see a firefly - Lampyridae

Still remember a post i posted years ago regarding ever see a firefly http://sensesmindthought.blogspot.com/2009/06/ever-see-firefly.html?I had always wanted to see one. In Malaysia, there are four major groups of fireflies, the Pteroptyx, Luciola, Colophotia and Lychnuris. This year, i'm lucky enough to finally see one on my way down fr Mount Kinabalu through Timpohon, just one, however due to the extremely exhausted condition of mine during that time, i only had a glance through it and never really have mood to enjoy the one and only firefly that fly through my face for the first time in my life......really regretted after that as i only have one thought at that moment, to get out of the Timpohon trail and reach civilisation ASAP.... sigh. But tonight i finally got to see a whole bunch...or should i say a few colonies by the river side in their nature habitat......i did it!!! ^_^ I enjoy watching them blinking by the dark river side in their nature habitat and light up the whole tree as if it is a decorated Christmas tree light up with blinking LED....Currently the happiness in me is indescribable by word. So as to say : YAY...i make it!!!

Hope that the whole area will be conservation site to preserve and protect this rare and unique type of live form by mother nature from extinction ..... sure hope to visit the site again, the whole stretch of river side of Sungai Kerian, worth visiting...............

I have been asking myself for so many times...what kind of person am I? no one really know me well and able to answer me except one person. the answer i get is very heart threatening.... I'm a selfish, self-centered and unconsidered person..... Need to do a lot of self improvement tho

哇好久没写东西了， 最近不知为何终是百感交集..........许多事情都理不出一个所以然，我到底想怎样？ 我想我是清楚的， 只是没有勇气复之于行动吧！

Pet Society recycle point

After playing PS for about 3 months, i only come to realized bout the precious item which can be found only in the recycle box. Each time u recycle an item, recycle point will be gain. The pay out can be claim once the recycle point reach 10,000, 20,000 or 30,000. Off course those item can also be recycle back to earn another recycle point or can be turn into gold coin. For those bought item, normally the recycle point will be 2x of the item purchase price, example, epal cost 5 gold coins, when recycle, u'll get 10 recycle point. There are few interesting item such as telescope, wall fountain and cuckoo clock which will be found in the 30,000 recycle box. Offcourse by just recycling all the unwanted old stuff or those fish/item fr the pond u'll never get those item in time, plus it'll take like ages in order to get 10,000. The fastest way to gain recycle point is by recycling ur flowers and vegetables, i managed to get every recycle item in just one month time. It sound very expensive to recycle the vege as it normally will give around 300++ gold coins if sold for the large vege especially large beetroot, but the point gain from recycling large vege is normally more than 1400 recycle point. Here are some of recycle point that you'll get:

Home grown fruits 392
small vege 728
above average vege 1208
large vege 1448

Offcourse, u'll need atleast 3-4 days for a vege to grow into large size, plus not everytime the vege u plant turn out to be ok, so recycling flower will help u to gain more recycle point in shotter time, offcourse more expensive as it will cost 200 gold coint per flower seed. However it only takes 24 hours to grow into flower which when recycle, it will give atleast 1200 recycle point. Here are some example:

Luscious lip turnip 1382
Pink Dahlia 1382

Hibiscus 1250
Orange daylily 1250
Sunflower 1250
Red rose 1250
White lily 1250
Pink Cattleya orchid 1250
Jasmine 1250

If you recycle those item you get from recycle box, it'll give back only half the original recycle point, example: item from 30,000 recycle box if recycle back will only give 15,000 recycle point.

I've finally got the telescope last week after weeks of recycling, yay...!! Happy trying to all PS gamer ^_^

What am i doing recently?? offcourse Pet Society!!

Been away fr from my blog for more than a month, quite busy recently, busy building nice pretty house for my pet Boo Boo in FB pet society hehehe.......

Many friends told me regarding this PS in FB but never thought of to start playing it, as i know i'll definitely get addicted to it....sigh...as predicted, i accidentally log into PS n wala..... i'm totally addicted to it now... Should try, i think should introduce to young children so that they'll understand the nature truth of life: need to work hard in earning money for what ever u need!!

hahaha, this is what i learn fr pet society and below r my comfortable pet house i gained from earning gold coins in PS

Maths n Science to be back in BM.....

A very dissapointed move by again our so-called cabinet, never learn fr experience, treat students and education policy like playing 'masak-masak' simply changing here n there, never take in account the implication on our future generation.... I'm a science student, i was taught by using BM back in the 80's n 90's during my primary n secondary school day, i know how hard is gonna be once reach the university level especially when involve in scientific research during post-grad level, u need to b ready to 'consume' n dig every resources available to aid in ur research n study, and mind you, all useful resource are in English!! i'd had some hard time to convert everything i learned in BM into english especially when it comes to writing and researching journals. Believe me, i'v gone through it, so, good luck to all the future students to be taught in BM again....

Source of the news fr the star online http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/7/8/nation/20090708144354&sec=nation

Tribute to MJ's songs

Below are my favourite MJ's MV

Michael Jackson died (1958-2009)

It's really a shock early in the morning when saw on MSN main tittle that the king of pop died early this morning at the age of 50 due to cardiac arrest just after 12:00 pm (1900 GMT) local time and paramedics were unable to revive him.
Love his music despite of all the negative news regarding child abuse throughout these year. Here's report fr CNN

A 'fruitful' day, a Balik Pulau durian trip

Never been to Balik Pulau even i'm originated fr Penang and never leave penang, hahaha, paiseh, many mush hav said that i'm so 'sua pa kau' (monkey fr the forest a.k.a katak bawah tempurung). So finally today i got the chance to visit Balik Pulau and enjoy the famous Balik Pulau durian, king of the fruits. Never knew that there r so many species of durian as normally just eat, eat and eat, so today, learn something new.


This one is call D15 green skin (cea poai) This one is Hor Lor



This is kun poh This is Siou Ang (little red)




These are the durian we ate on the spot, so full..... i hav to say that i like the sweet one

What fascinating is this, the sea of durian in the Balik Pulau town. Wow, this is the first time in my life to see so many durians, try imagine i was below all this durian...ouch!! hahaha