Am I such an annoying person???? Probably.......

It is so obvious that the inpatient within a certain friend of mine towards me when talking or even when messaging me. Realizing of such inpatient within the friend, i really think that i shall restrain myself from talking or messaging to that friend. I wouldn't be knowing the real reason or the cause of such inpatient as for sure i wouldn't be asking, this will cause more inpatient or unhappiness towards the friend, probably annoyed. However my self conscious is not insensitive as such. Somehow probably my own attitude and personality causes that, hence i wouldn't be blaming anyone or the friend for such, I only have myself to blame, thus i shall restrain from talking and messaging in order to prevent me from annoying anyone further from today onward especially the certain friend. I'm really not good in human to human whatever kind of relationship, hence please don't compare me to others (your friends, previous partner etc........), i'm just me. Good or worse there is only one of the kind of me. So sorry if i really annoyed you....... :(

Friday the 13th................terribly sad

I'm quite a superstitious person basically. I usually don't like no. 13 and especially when the day 13 falls on Friday. Today is the day...basically everything went wrong and terribly wrong..........yes you might say that it is an excuse to blame it to the no. but it really went wrong for almost everything. It is indeed a very sad day to me as i might have hurt someone badly unintentionally with my bad temper which the guilt is eating my up deeply from within at this moment while i'm writing this. It was long since i release tantrum to people out of the family member so badly and the moment i did it immediately i realize it is terribly wrong. I always tend to mess up relationship and hurt people surrounding me especially those close to me..... maybe subconsciously i tend to push people away without realizing it. I really feel that by apologizing and saying sorry is not not enough for the hurt that i had caused.................SORRY!!!!! :'(
很想哭但是怎么都哭不出来................................很多东西都写不出来... 是, 当我发脾气时我真的很气, 气的不是什么, 只是你那很不耐烦的说话态度让我觉得很无辜,很无奈....我气喘喘的东忙西跑受了气, 累了得到的却是那种不耐烦的对待....很伤心......但现在更伤心的却是伤害了一个好朋友....很难受....真的很难受.........